DIEGO OUR PLUMBER

Diego is our plumber, tiler, roofer and firewood supplier. He is about 50, lean, weather-beaten and short. He has a voice than begins somewhere round his ankles, conditioned by the permanent Ducados stuck between fingers or lips. He is the antithesis of his modern UK counterpart. He is not only punctual but arrives five or ten minutes before the time scheduled; he does a good job and charges very modest rates.
The reason he deserves a mention is not just for his quality of service but to put another nail in the coffin of British racial superiority. Most of the pejorative names allocated to foreigners were coined in good old Blighty – spicks, wogs, dagos, thick paddies, etc.
Surely that’s all history? Take a look at our beloved national hero, Basil Fawlty. His stupid and clumsy employee was a cringe-making racial stereotype. Manuel incidentally was ‘from’ Barcelona, one of the most sophisticated and advanced cities in Europe yet Basil’s regular line to excuse his dopey Spaniard was ‘you’ll have to excuse him, he’s from Barcelona’. Oh how we laughed. If it comes to impeccable service and a genuine desire to please, the UK is so far behind Spain as there to be no contest.
One big job Diego did for us was to completely re-tile the entire floor of the house.
It took about a week. Diego arrived not at 0830 as agreed but 0825 or earlier each day. He brought two men with him from his home in Valdecaballeros, some 30K away.
They were working at 0830 - no brewing of tea or coffee, no reading The Sun, no chat about last night’s TV – simply ‘let’s do it’. Costs? Diego charged an almost unbelievable ten Euros an hour or six pounds seventy. Pretty close to the UK minimum wage. When I didn’t have enough cash, he waved his hand and said next time. Of course we couldn’t allow that so we arranged to leave the shortfall in a local bar in Valdecaballeros.
On smaller jobs he brings his wife, Mariepietra, who sits happily chatting with Bernice on the terrace. One job, the construction in brick of a kitchen unit, he just would not do as he considered there were ample kitchen units in the mueble stores that would do the job cheaper. So his trip was in vain. Charge for the call out? Zilch.