PROSTATES

A cheery topic; however all guys of a certain age could do worse than focus on the topic, if only for a moment. My brother Alan in Durban tells me he has recently undergone the 'indignity' of a prostate examination and that his PSA is well within the not-to-worry category. I well recall my first introduction to the procedure known to the medics as a 'digital' examination. In my innocence I thought this was some state of the art procedure not disimilar to digital radio, digital TV or other communications systems. It was only when I lay sideways on the GP's couch with my knees tucked up in the foetal position, that it dawned on me that the digit concerned had nothing to do with electronic technology. The sound of a rubber glove being snapped onto the GP's fingers confirmed my suspicions and when he added that this won't hurt a bit I knew just what the digit was and precisely where it was going.

Apparently he looks for signs of enlargement of the prostate and whether the surface is rough or smooth which can indicate the presence of extraneous growth (cancer to you and me).
If you do find, as a staggering one in three of us do, that you have cancerous tissue in the prostate you will probably be given a brief course of CASADEX for about 2 weeks, then an abdominal injection of ZOLADEX which provides a slow-release drug over 3 months. Both of the drugs have the function of carrying out a chemical castration. The clue is in the first syllable of the first course. I had an off the scale PSA of 961 which dropped back to 1.9 within a short time of starting the course.
Fellow sufferers should be warned that the effectiveness is finite and new combinations of treatment or chemotheraphy are required. My PSA started to rise again after two years, so I now take both Zoladex and Casadex. Result is that I often feel like shit - chest pain, lethargy, remarkable drop in energy and a general listlessness. I now take the Casadex last thing at night so its worst effects hit me while I'm sleeping. I take a painkiller in the morning and the rest of the days are much better.
Any other poor whore similarly afflicted may like to ask me the odd question. Feel free. But it is only one man's experience

SPORT & A BIT ON HEALTH

To beat England on Irish soil is always a joy but with two added ingredients - a victory at Croke Park plus a very convincing one, make the moment all that sweeter. It may not be universally known that Croke Park was the venue of the original 1920 Bloody Sunday. The act was so heinous that many find it hard to believe, but - as an act of ´reprisal´ against Nationalist action- the Brits aka the Black and Tans actually set up a machine gun post in the centre of Croke Park and fired indiscriminately at the crowd. Even Amritsar was not as calculatedly brutal. From then on Croke Park became the shrine of Nationalism and the GAA banned the playing of any English games on its turf. So to entertain the mighty English for the first time on such hallowed ground was an event to send most Celtic hearts racing. As a footnote it was heartening to learn of the dignity with which the boys conducted themselves. Sad the English could only muster such a small group of supporters. English supporters are invariably loud and superior when in the watering holes of the Twickers hinterland but they go kinda quiet in the Celtic fringes.

Rugby joy somewhat negated by the depressing reports that Ronan O´Gara was badly knocked out by the Scots to the point where some papers say the action was ´tantamount to attempted murder´. Not the sort of report we want to hear from the rugby pitch especially in an Ireland/Scotland match. The full facts have not been established but the incident leaves a nasty taste. The Triple Crown, alas, is a wee bit tarnished.

I´ve been a bit critical of the Spanish NHS but it is, quite simply, only different. I have had a quite lengthy meeting with a Specialist urologist. He organised blood samples for my urea, creatinine and PSA (the prostate cancer indicator). I now receive word that I have a fixed appointment at the Don Benito/Villanueva Hospital for a TAC Scan (UK - CT Scan) - so clearly he wants his own records of my health, his own scans and his own files.
I had actually photocopied about 50 sheets of my medical records (all in English) to allow the poor bugger to familiarise himself with my case. Fortunately, he tells me his wife is a Professor of English. Still very time consuming, though.
13 Mar and 13th consecutive day of unbroken sunshine. We didn´t have 2 in a row in Feb.

SCOTLAND WITH SUNSHINE ?

Not really. Feb was a whore of a month - rain just about every day with the associated misery of dark skies, damp air and general cold. The native Extremadurans tell us that the weather is quite exceptional. Must be true as we had Xmas on our terrace in shorts.
March has broken gloriously. Big, big skies above the sierras, vast blue expanses and Guadiana sparkling below the house. Great squadrons of Buitres Leanados (type of buzzard) launch themselves off the montanas and catch the thermals of the newly warmed earth. Their flight is a vision of cool arrogance with hardly a minimal flap of a wing. They cruise over the top of our casa, which for a cancer patient has a certain black humour. I sometimes greet them with "I´m still here, ya bastards".
Still virtually Brit free. Though we have come across a Brit working for a Co. we had to contact.
He has to be the least well-informed man in the Province. He has no Spanish whatever - talks in cliches, refers to native people as ´they´ - all in all he has the greatest English failing of all in Shedloads - he could bore the arse off a stamp collector from Penge.

BIT MORE

Another exemplar might be parking. Granted most small Spanish towns are wholly unsuitable for motor cars but where cars have any access, drivers will park just about anywhere. Pedestrian crossings, school gates, disabled parking all seem to make no difference.

Furthermore most smaller towns have never bothered with yellow lines or parking wardens. Yes, they can be right bastards in bigger towns but in el campo Anarchy rules.

ANARCHY II

Another example could be seat belts. In the early days new cars had a cautionary light on the dash to advise you that seat belts were not being worn. As time went by a little light was deemed insufficient and a variety of warning screeches were incorporated into the cautionary mode. Worse, the longer one left the belt unsecured, the louder became the screech. While accepting road safety is not to be underplayed, the idea of being nagged to death by some electronic autocrat grates on the intelligent individual's sense of self. Here in Spain though the law and the car noises seems to conform with EU standards nobody wears a belt in a built up area. Even when driving with our solicitor when we reached for our belts he declared reassuringly "no es necesario". Whether this is the law or just accepted practice we cannot deduce but the laidback attitude seems to dovetail perfectly with the smoking ban.

Evidence of Anarchy? I think so.

ANARCHY

My learned friend Leo Keohane is writing a thesis on the nature of Anarchy. Initially Jack White became a bit player in the scenario, however JRW seems, like Topsy, to have become the focus of the Opus. Leo´s draft thesis created a whole new range of thought processes for me.

Now living in Spain I cannot fail to associate anarchy with what some might consider to be its spiritual home. Anarchy, like Socialism, has never been tried. The nearest exemplar was probably Catalonia in the 1930´s. Living amongst these philosophical people one has to reflect on the nature of the Spaniard vis a viz Anarchy.

Take one example. The smoking ban which has tyrannised smokers in Dublin, New York, Edinburgh and elsewhere was introduced in Spain in January 2006. The media had countdown warnings of so many days to go. As a great Hispanophile I was fascinated to see how the average Spaniard would react. Anyone familiar with the country will quickly picture the scene - rows of wee men with voices conditioned by many years of smoking black tobacco and glasses of chewy red wine, all addressing the entire bar in tones so far up the decibel scale as to be approaching the pain threshold. The idea of them standing on a clean floor without a hint of ash, matches, dogends and fag packets just seemed perverse.

So it was with keen interest that we visited our normal run of bars in the New Year 2006. We prised open the door and lo and behold nothing - but nothing - had changed. All the wee men still puffed away at their Ducados and Fortunas; the layer of smoke still as dense as their voices.

Why no change? Apparently, all a bar is required to do is state at the door whether it is a smoking or non-smoking establishment. Above a certain square metreage there has to be a section for smokers, below it, it is simply a Yes or a No. Needless to say every bar opted for Yes and even the larger bars, though they claim to have smoking/non-smoking sections seemed completely oblivious to any divisions.

Anarchy? I think so. Too many people associate anarchy with chaos and ferment or as Leo put it - men with Christmas pudding bombs. Anarchy is about the absence of rules and reflects a peculiarly free state of mind. We could see no protests, no civil rights demonstrations, no indication whatever of smouldering dissent. New Year 2006 came and went and Spain´s cafe society carried on as normal.

One caveat, we have only observed rural southern Spain. What happened in the more northern parts and in the sophisticated cities of Barcelona and Madrid (or on the bastardised Costas) we cannot say but somehow one feels that the Spaniard´s great love of food, drink, talk, decibels and smoking will not change much from region to region.

GODS STILL AT IT

Certain ironic humour here. Bought a Lamp which is rechargeable by solar power. Alas no Sun these last 7 days. Ergo No Lamp.

Bought a Chain Saw - wouldn´t start. And this morning our primary source of power, our Generator, packed in - no light, no hot water and no water pump. Drove 25km for meeting with Health Social Worker in Talarrubias - Not In, nice drive tho.

Rain continues Deluge style.

Otherwise spirits amazingly high.

Don´t give up reading, the best is yet to come.